Finally completed my ground plan and submitted it today...only two days late (sometimes I feel like I'm flying by the seat of my pants and I don't know anything, and I can't believe I'm even making this show and its all a little too overwhelming!)
School of Drama Open day today...so I sat at the info booth and started to address the mail out envelopes. Nobody has helped me,its too confusing because the mailout list are outdated and mostly missing the addresses. I went to assist Debby at the Question and Answer session and when I came back three people were just standing around. I said, did the mail out get done? They said I didn't understand the instructions, which list did you work from?
ARRRRRGH!
However, got some really positive feedback from the Arches creative residency panel on my failed proposal tonight. It turns out there were 23 applicants, 1 chosen project and four people invited for feedback, so I didn't do too badly considering my proposal was fairly last minute.
The most interesting aspect of the feedback was to focus on my own role within projects or productions, and to shed the language of the course...(this was a little unclear, because they largely liked my writing style but disliked task etc. They seemed to think that the language would become obselete after I graduated and that I just needed to be careful how I described my projects and why I wanted to commit to reworking something that was essentially finished)
Last of the third year showings tonight, I am looking forward to it.
Now I just got to sort out when I'm showing what to whom.
Friday, 9 March 2007
Thursday, 8 March 2007
After my marathon day (of practicality, after the first disasterous spell) yesterday I was tired!
Which in some respects follows on to my justification for still being in bed at 10.15am.
Despite my morning in the space, I have not been very good today. I have cleared up the East text, I looked at the beginning and how I get into the North stuff but it's still not finalised
I have realised that the thing with the door needs to be clearer, if I make transformations when I step over its threshold how am I showing these? I haven't set up the convention clearly enough, so I can't break it. This requires a lot more thought, and some experimental before its ready to rehearse! and I'm running out of time.
I STILL CAN'T FIND MY SHOES!!! I am going to look for them again, and then I'm accusing someone of stealing them...
Which in some respects follows on to my justification for still being in bed at 10.15am.
Despite my morning in the space, I have not been very good today. I have cleared up the East text, I looked at the beginning and how I get into the North stuff but it's still not finalised
I have realised that the thing with the door needs to be clearer, if I make transformations when I step over its threshold how am I showing these? I haven't set up the convention clearly enough, so I can't break it. This requires a lot more thought, and some experimental before its ready to rehearse! and I'm running out of time.
I STILL CAN'T FIND MY SHOES!!! I am going to look for them again, and then I'm accusing someone of stealing them...
Wednesday, 7 March 2007
Who needs sleep
Despite having been awake all night and in the Academy, in empty AG12 since 8am I have achieved nothing so far (10.25am).
In the restless dark I felt like I was having breakthrough after breakthrough, so much that I couldn't stop thinking about the show and how wonderful it would be after I changed it this morning. I cursed the fact that I couldn't get into a rehearsal space at 4am, so tried to sleep for another hour.
At 5am I rewrote the whole show, scribbling notes to myself about significant cuts and possible spots for new material.
But when I got to the room this morning, there were no shoes, no door, no stool...just me and the space and I felt sick. Really sick. So I tried to warm up. And I tried to book a room and get my door back and phone people, but it was all too early and too late.
I slept in an easy chair for an hour or so...I gave Chloe a fright when she came in.
I still can't get anybody on the phone...Katie has dissappered. I'm lost.
In the restless dark I felt like I was having breakthrough after breakthrough, so much that I couldn't stop thinking about the show and how wonderful it would be after I changed it this morning. I cursed the fact that I couldn't get into a rehearsal space at 4am, so tried to sleep for another hour.
At 5am I rewrote the whole show, scribbling notes to myself about significant cuts and possible spots for new material.
But when I got to the room this morning, there were no shoes, no door, no stool...just me and the space and I felt sick. Really sick. So I tried to warm up. And I tried to book a room and get my door back and phone people, but it was all too early and too late.
I slept in an easy chair for an hour or so...I gave Chloe a fright when she came in.
I still can't get anybody on the phone...Katie has dissappered. I'm lost.
Tuesday, 6 March 2007
Actionism into theatricality
I had a half awake vision that I could make my show better if I made it all character based (that is, knew exactly which 'character'/persona did what. I think the actionist thing is like the thing that Grace critised last year about being too earnest. I got somewhere with the fragile scared persona but only cos it was contrasted to the ballsy cabaret performer.
Answer: I must change when I walk through the door. Thats my theatrical convention which can only be broken after its been established. At the moment, its not being established enough.
Spoke to Caro about me teaching the song instead of her...she was more fine about it than I was, cos there was a real reason. She invited me to hang out with Fiona Wright when she takes her around the Scottish music scene. I also suggested we go and see some folk musicians play so I can get to understand what that performance style is...this is IMPORTANT!!!! I must reference them, I need to see live singers and understands the conventions they use in order to properly utilise it in performance. DUh, where has my brain been all this time.
Did costume stripping/dying today. Did the pattern for the paper beard and tried to make the hat. Going to the Academy first thing tomorrow to complete both and finish my technical ryder.
* Need to talk to some professionals about the use of music in venues. If there is no PRS full coverage how expensive is it. What are the rules about adaptation, singing etc. This is v. important for touring Garland/Hoose.
Didn't get a chance to talk to Adrian about confessions...maybe tomorrow. I must also talk to Murray again, and apologise email Ingrid for lack of info on IKEA. (I was so happy at the thought of collaborating with her, that I think I must suggest we explore this at another time. I feel some letter art coming on!)
Finally...saw three solo's from the 3rd years tonight. Meryl, Okan and Lucy. It's difficult to talk about how I feel critically. I'm going to write a personal rant in my private notebook and distill thoughts into a comment on this blog. Lets just say that seeing the work this year made me question where I was at this time last year and where I am now...I know I am a good performer, but I'm worried about my material. How is this work being analysed and graded. How much is taste a factor. And why can't I just believe people when they say its good work, especially as I loved performing Garland last year.
Answer: I must change when I walk through the door. Thats my theatrical convention which can only be broken after its been established. At the moment, its not being established enough.
Spoke to Caro about me teaching the song instead of her...she was more fine about it than I was, cos there was a real reason. She invited me to hang out with Fiona Wright when she takes her around the Scottish music scene. I also suggested we go and see some folk musicians play so I can get to understand what that performance style is...this is IMPORTANT!!!! I must reference them, I need to see live singers and understands the conventions they use in order to properly utilise it in performance. DUh, where has my brain been all this time.
Did costume stripping/dying today. Did the pattern for the paper beard and tried to make the hat. Going to the Academy first thing tomorrow to complete both and finish my technical ryder.
* Need to talk to some professionals about the use of music in venues. If there is no PRS full coverage how expensive is it. What are the rules about adaptation, singing etc. This is v. important for touring Garland/Hoose.
Didn't get a chance to talk to Adrian about confessions...maybe tomorrow. I must also talk to Murray again, and apologise email Ingrid for lack of info on IKEA. (I was so happy at the thought of collaborating with her, that I think I must suggest we explore this at another time. I feel some letter art coming on!)
Finally...saw three solo's from the 3rd years tonight. Meryl, Okan and Lucy. It's difficult to talk about how I feel critically. I'm going to write a personal rant in my private notebook and distill thoughts into a comment on this blog. Lets just say that seeing the work this year made me question where I was at this time last year and where I am now...I know I am a good performer, but I'm worried about my material. How is this work being analysed and graded. How much is taste a factor. And why can't I just believe people when they say its good work, especially as I loved performing Garland last year.
Monday, 5 March 2007
The work shines through
Ok, Friday had a technical tutorial and discussed lighting with Ian. This was nerve wracking but I think it's possible to create what I want. Both Ian and Katie are very amenable (after I spoke to Katie, she told me that she was under the impression that my show was sorted and that she wasn't worried about it in any way! This should have been encouraging, if only I believed in myself.
Saturday, I buy the paint and get the biscuit tin.
Sunday: Good amount of time in AG12, the door is fixed and I really get to grips with how I can move it and become more precise. I feel that the character elements are easier, more fluid and I can really jump in and out of them. I probably need to go even further with this though. Caroline's observation/question was, why does contemporary performance always employ very sloooooow speaking? I felt it was because the text was so deliberate, that every single word had been chosen for meaning, and so needed slow delivery in order to be absorbed by the spectator. However, I thought this also might add to the over serious persona Kate mentioned, that I can't seem to break out of. So I played around with the speed at which I delivered the texts, and considered when I want the persona to be conversational or all about the delivery.
Monday: TUTORIAL day: Was feeling very apprehensive about showing the work today...mainly because this is a more formalised structure, and the closest thing I have to the actual show. I'm still not sure it's any good. I talked to Kate about feeling confused with all the input from different people, and about the fact that I had no clear trajectory as I had for making Garland. I know I made this material but it doesn't feel like mine. I can't seem to back it, in the way that I did with Garland. (I took risks with the style in Garland and I was nervous about how it would be recieved but I essentially believed in it and thats how I came to give the performance of it 100% on the night.)
It was also really difficult to read Katie and Ian's reactions to it. They seemed to follow it, and laugh at certain points...they said they enjoyed it. Does this matter? Do I really want another critical opinion when I feel as though I'm swimming in them? Why do I need affirmation, when I don't believe it when it comes anyway?
Kate was very good today...key points She said she could see I had worked on it, she could see me grappling with what she had given me last week. We talked about taste, and whether she didn't like the singing bits as a taste thing (so I'll ask Robert for a tutorial next week in addition to Kate's to establish if it works for him)
Essentially the material is all valid, but now I need to play with delivery, find even more variance in mode, pace, intensity. I think this is something I will always need to work up to. As a person I appear pretty calm and balanced in my everyday life.
Kate mentioned one thing which I think is really valid. She feels the performance jumps between Actionist performance and heavily dramatic (with a big helping of sentimental over seriousness even still...I need to get rid of this or make more of it, send it up perhaps). She says she's confused by this. It sounds confusing...I feel like this is my twin personality thing and would ideally like to keep both elements in the show, perhaps just finding a way of transitioning between the two. Do I have to choose? Do I have to commit to one for this show, and see where it takes me, knowing that I can use the other one another time? Things to think about.
I know I need to talk to Robert, I'm slightly worried he is going to call me on loads of things I haven't considered, but this can do nothing but good for furthering the performance. It's better I look a little stupid in a one one one tutorial than in front of a full house at Tramway.
Onward, feeling a lot better, at least Kate knows I'm trying.
Saturday, I buy the paint and get the biscuit tin.
Sunday: Good amount of time in AG12, the door is fixed and I really get to grips with how I can move it and become more precise. I feel that the character elements are easier, more fluid and I can really jump in and out of them. I probably need to go even further with this though. Caroline's observation/question was, why does contemporary performance always employ very sloooooow speaking? I felt it was because the text was so deliberate, that every single word had been chosen for meaning, and so needed slow delivery in order to be absorbed by the spectator. However, I thought this also might add to the over serious persona Kate mentioned, that I can't seem to break out of. So I played around with the speed at which I delivered the texts, and considered when I want the persona to be conversational or all about the delivery.
Monday: TUTORIAL day: Was feeling very apprehensive about showing the work today...mainly because this is a more formalised structure, and the closest thing I have to the actual show. I'm still not sure it's any good. I talked to Kate about feeling confused with all the input from different people, and about the fact that I had no clear trajectory as I had for making Garland. I know I made this material but it doesn't feel like mine. I can't seem to back it, in the way that I did with Garland. (I took risks with the style in Garland and I was nervous about how it would be recieved but I essentially believed in it and thats how I came to give the performance of it 100% on the night.)
It was also really difficult to read Katie and Ian's reactions to it. They seemed to follow it, and laugh at certain points...they said they enjoyed it. Does this matter? Do I really want another critical opinion when I feel as though I'm swimming in them? Why do I need affirmation, when I don't believe it when it comes anyway?
Kate was very good today...key points She said she could see I had worked on it, she could see me grappling with what she had given me last week. We talked about taste, and whether she didn't like the singing bits as a taste thing (so I'll ask Robert for a tutorial next week in addition to Kate's to establish if it works for him)
Essentially the material is all valid, but now I need to play with delivery, find even more variance in mode, pace, intensity. I think this is something I will always need to work up to. As a person I appear pretty calm and balanced in my everyday life.
Kate mentioned one thing which I think is really valid. She feels the performance jumps between Actionist performance and heavily dramatic (with a big helping of sentimental over seriousness even still...I need to get rid of this or make more of it, send it up perhaps). She says she's confused by this. It sounds confusing...I feel like this is my twin personality thing and would ideally like to keep both elements in the show, perhaps just finding a way of transitioning between the two. Do I have to choose? Do I have to commit to one for this show, and see where it takes me, knowing that I can use the other one another time? Things to think about.
I know I need to talk to Robert, I'm slightly worried he is going to call me on loads of things I haven't considered, but this can do nothing but good for furthering the performance. It's better I look a little stupid in a one one one tutorial than in front of a full house at Tramway.
Onward, feeling a lot better, at least Kate knows I'm trying.
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